Ale La (Go There)

I don't know about you guys but I sometimes struggle with a lot of skepticism. But I have a working theory; God does stuff. Christians talk about Faith, we talk about God, and we talk about God having a plan for our lives. However, oftentimes, if we're honest, we will admit that we have a hard time believing in God's plan for our lives. Even more frustrating is the fact that we often cannot see God's plan for our lives. So, how are we supposed to follow along with whatever that plan is? These are the kinds of things I ask myself, and maybe you have asked yourself the same. I really felt like the time I spent in Peru was put in front of me in a really obvious way . People talk about feeling "called" to do something, but for me it was more like there were no options here in California and as soon as I started to think about moving to Peru a world of possibilities exploded. Call it what you like. I felt like God DID something to take me to Peru where...

Wintertime in S. California. The few weeks out of the year when Southern Californians marvel at the layer of frost (which they we call ice) that has formed on our windshields. The kids in the streets breathe enthusiastically on each exhale as their breath freezes around their faces. And we bundle up in layers of cotton, because wool is too scratchy (not to mention practical). On my hands and knees in my front yard "weeding" my flower beds, I felt the cold soak into my hands and numb my toes and fingertips. People say you are supposed to talk to plants and play them classical music in order to foster the proper growing environment. Does swearing at weeds when they break off in your hand count? I heard my next door neighbors yelling at each other inside of their house, and my body tensed up. A visceral response. I've been having a lot of those lately, quick and sudden responses as if my body just reacts to whatever is happening and I have to quickly moderate/check my...

I have been getting a lot of questions lately. Number one is, "So... How was Peru?" And Number two is, "So, what's it like being home?" Well, I don't really know how to answer question number one. I think that my memories, the things that I learned, the Spanish and the stories are just going to come out as I live here. I will be talking about Peru for a while, and I'm okay with that. Question number two is also pretty hard to answer, and here's why. It seems like I go through my days here either feeling a LOT or just in a haze. When I'm really overwhelmed, everything starts to get fuzzy. It's like I'm listening to people talk from underwater. I have no idea what my face looks like, or how I come across in these moments. It's kind of like being stuck in puberty, when you just didn't understand anything but thought that you knew everything. The most awkward thing is that I used to live here, and I feel like I used to be a...

I feel so proud of myself that I still remember how to spell continuum. Yes. Really. Have I mentioned that I like things to flow smoothly? Or that I like closure? I think I have. Well, it's true, and if I had my way life would make sense like a movie with a really bomb soundtrack. You would be able to predict the next general plot point, the cinematography would be epic, and everyone would be happy at the end. But, as much as we try Life continues to refuse our efforts to make it conform to the standards of others. So, even though I would have loved for my time in Brazil to have strung along the same continuum as that of Peru, it did not. It continued to amaze and confuse me. It broke my heart again. It showed me that when people are placed in your heart, they are there for good.  I haven't been to Brazil for four years, and I was so happy for a chance to get back there and reconnect with some people who are really important to me. I met the kids in Piratininga over 7 y...

Love is the currency that keeps it's value, despite distance, time zones or experiences. I am so rich and blessed in love. Lately I have been thinking a lot about family. Some of the members of my "real" blood family came to visit me for this last MMI project in Cuzco, I have been saying goodbye to all the people who have become my family here in Peru, and I have been hearing about how one of our patients is  struggling through prognosis of terminal cancer without a family, so "family" has been on the brain. My "real" family arrived on the Saturday before the Cuzco project; my Mom, Dad, brother Michael and cousin Laura. I met them at the airport. We cried a little and hugged a lot. They got to meet all my MMIers and spend a week with us in the clinic. Having my blood family and my MMI family together for one week was both really wonderful and really strange. I kept wishing for more time, for more meals, for a larger table so that we all could si...

This morning I looked at my journal and realized that I've been neglecting all the stuff that is swirling around in my heart. It's cheesy, and I know a lot of people don't journal any more, but for me my journal is a place where I realize what I'm feeling in my day to day life. It's like talking to a close friend. It's the most honest place of my prayer life. It is full of mistakes, bad spelling, terrible handwriting and sometimes bad words, but I know that God can take it. He already knows all of that anyways. The problem is that for the past week, I haven't been journaling very much. It's more like I have been bullet pointing the things that happen in my day to day life, and avoiding how I feel about them. I arrived in Lima on Thursday afternoon and got settled in to my guest house in San Miguel. This guest house was a surprise plan. Which means, I thought I had a plan and then SURPRISE, this happened. I had originally planned on staying with some ...

"How do we understand God in this?" This was a question that really struck home with me over the past two weeks, as I was translating for our MMI trip to Puno/Juliaca. How do we understand God in this, when a woman grabs your hand with tears in her eyes and says "Help me," when you have to tell a woman with no insurance that she may have cancer of the spleen, when a mother of two deaf/mute girls tells you that she will sell her organs so that they can have cochlear implants? How do we understand God in this? When a patient comes in with a fungal growth the size of a cabbage on his foot. He says he has been cleaning it with urine and that it's "getting better." The team manages to convince him that he needs to be hospitalized, it is a potential emergency, and that he could contract sepsis. But, when he finally agrees to go to the hospital they tell him that all his paperwork has been transferred to Arequipa, where the health care workers are on ...