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Showing posts from July, 2013

Hands Open, Hands Empty

Surrender and Trust. Those are terrible words. They feel terrible anyways.
I mean, I'm sure they are wonderful in theory. But anyone who has ever struggled with Surrender and Trust knows what I am talking about; that sinking feeling when trust comes up in a conversation, the numbness when someone says, "Don't you trust yourself?" and the near hysteria when you realize that trust and surrender mean that sometimes bad things happen.

Well, I guess bad things happen anyways whether you trust, surrender, or not.

Yes, this post is off to a cheerful start.

I have been thinking a lot about this time when I was in Peru and vividly remembering my conversation with God about surrender. I remember that I was reading the book of Job on that trip, and I was struck by the encompassing tragedy of it, and how Job just sat in the dirt and wept for days. I remember that when I finally told God, "I think you can really HAVE my life... Yes, really." I wanted to sit down and wee…