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Showing posts from December, 2012

Fuzzy or Feeling: What it's like to be home

I have been getting a lot of questions lately.

Number one is, "So... How was Peru?"

And Number two is, "So, what's it like being home?"

Well, I don't really know how to answer question number one. I think that my memories, the things that I learned, the Spanish and the stories are just going to come out as I live here. I will be talking about Peru for a while, and I'm okay with that. Question number two is also pretty hard to answer, and here's why.

It seems like I go through my days here either feeling a LOT or just in a haze. When I'm really overwhelmed, everything starts to get fuzzy. It's like I'm listening to people talk from underwater. I have no idea what my face looks like, or how I come across in these moments. It's kind of like being stuck in puberty, when you just didn't understand anything but thought that you knew everything.

The most awkward thing is that I used to live here, and I feel like I used to be a lot better …

Brazil and the Time Space Continuum

I feel so proud of myself that I still remember how to spell continuum. Yes. Really.

Have I mentioned that I like things to flow smoothly? Or that I like closure? I think I have.

Well, it's true, and if I had my way life would make sense like a movie with a really bomb soundtrack. You would be able to predict the next general plot point, the cinematography would be epic, and everyone would be happy at the end.

But, as much as we try Life continues to refuse our efforts to make it conform to the standards of others. So, even though I would have loved for my time in Brazil to have strung along the same continuum as that of Peru, it did not. It continued to amaze and confuse me. It broke my heart again. It showed me that when people are placed in your heart, they are there for good. 

I haven't been to Brazil for four years, and I was so happy for a chance to get back there and reconnect with some people who are really important to me. I met the kids in Piratininga over 7 years ago…