Ale La (Go There)

I want to be real. Well, that’s only partially true. Here’s a statement that is a little closer to the truth.  I want to be real but also appear perfect, but also deep, deep down I want to be known. And because I want to be known, I know that I have to be real. I haven't done my taxes yet, my room is perpetually messy because I hate putting laundry away, and I swear more than you would like to think. Whew! So, here is a true confession. In the past week, I have had quite a few breakdowns. The first came quite unexpectedly, when I came home from Wednesday night with the kiddos at the church and was in a bad mood. I quickly retreated to my room and asked myself, “What the HECK?” (Truthfully, I did not say HECK but it started with H and had four letters) Then, I remembered... Breath in, breath out. It just so happens that I had been stuffing my emotions all day. In the morning I had a two hour conversation with a friend who has some tough stuff going on in her life, a...

It all started with THIS. This is my list of things that I wanted in a job. I wrote them down when I was in my last semester of nursing school (a year ago) and have been praying for a job that looked like this ever since. The picture is a little blurry but the list says, “I want a job where I can: do something meaningful, work with children/families, speak Spanish.” Whenever I had a job possibility I would always look at this list and wonder “Is this the job that has all of these three things?” The months that followed graduation were a bit difficult for me; I struggled with feeling purposeless. I realized that so much of my focus for SO long had been fixed on becoming a nurse, and now that I actually was a nurse I wasn’t sure what to do next. So, I applied for jobs. Lots and lots of jobs. When I first didn't get a nursing job my response was something like, “What! Really?” (directed simultaneously at God and all prospective employers, but mostly at God). I wanted to shout o...